Our little one.

I know it has been too long and I'm finally here sharing the outdated news: we have finally welcomed our son! Alhamdulillah.

First of all, yes, it's a whole new year and a lot (I mean, A LOT) has happened during these past few months that I won't be able to recap everything in just one post so I'm just going to write about our little human being, Ionas Ali Izwan.

He just turned 3 months 2 weeks ago. It's crazy how time flies but to this very day everything still feels surreal. I'm currently in the living room with this little munchkin sound asleep right next to me and I feel like, it's about time I write about his arrival into our lives.

The news of his existence came as a surprise to me since I was fresh out of a mini surgery two months prior. I still remember having that "sure" feeling that I was pregnant even when my aunt crimson was only a day late. We were in Seoul then and I suddenly had this crazy urge to buy a pregnancy test two days before our flight back to KL. Found out right away it was positive and the rest is history.

My pregnancy had been a blessing, alhamdulillah. I had no sickness, no specific cravings. I was just hungry all the time Ya Allah I can't even explain the possibility of that. I would get hungry just after 10 minutes of downing a heavy meal. It was crazy but I was glad that that was my only struggle. Had a brief scare when I was told I might have placenta previa but alhamdulillah God is Great and my baby boo was such a good baby in my womb that I was given the news that everything was in a perfect place again. I had been keeping mum about the pregnancy because that's just how I roll but truly, I had all the worst case scenarios in my head so I was already detaching myself from any expectations. But alhamdulillah, the day finally came.

On the 29th of December 2019, I had safely delivered our firstborn and our precious little donut. It was a crazy experience because I didn't know I was already in labor the night before. I waited it out (it's important to educate yourself on this so please take my advice with a pinch of salt) because I didn't want to be experiencing the major part of my labor in the hospital. I managed to do some exercise, got a few hours of sleep before my water broke sometime after midnight. Sansan was already panicking but I told him to wait till fajr because I wanted to pray first. It was memorable because it was my first time praying whilst sitting down so I will never forget that.

Right after that, we drove to the hospital and alhamdulillah I was already 5cm dilated. What did I say about tahajjud prayers being guaranteed to be answered? I say it all the time and I experience it all the time masha Allah God is just too Great and Greatest of the Greatest. Looking back, my birth experience did go exactly how I wanted it to be. I didn't realize it till one week later when my gynae told me, "You had an easy pregnancy, easy birth. Now easy recovery alhamdulillah. I'm going to let you go now." it broke my heart to pieces because I was so in awe with how Merciful and how Loving my Rabb is. I'm just thankful that my first birthing experience didn't scare me into having to be pregnant again lol.

I also remembered praying to Him so that my baby would be healthy but also asking Him that he won't exceed 3kg just to make the delivery process easier. I'm so thankful Allah moved my heart to make such du'a because He knows what I could bear and what I couldn't. (insert endless crying) Ionas is now 3 months and two weeks old and he's already 6.7kg so don't believe those people who say your baby must lahir besar besar tembam tembam and berat berat then only he's a healthy baby ok? Lol. It has been challenging going through postpartum recovery especially with the differing views my friends (and some of my family members) have regarding it. I'm okay with all the pantang larang, as long as it doesn't clash with your akidah to the point that you believe if you didn't do this, this will happen. To me, as long as it's not memudaratkan, go on and do it. You know your body best so you do you, ok?

I know I sound like I'm babbling or something but I think it's simply because it has been awhile since I last wrote anything other than my tweets and my instagram captions so please cut me some slack. I'll write better after this ok? Of course I'll write more. SO MANY THINGS to talk about but so little kerajinan. But I'll try.

To end this, please make du'a for my little Ionas, my little Yunus, my little Ali -- my gundu and my donut that he'll grow up to be a good servant to his Lord, a good son to his Mummy and Daddy and just a good human being as a whole, biidhnillah.

Till I write again. Goodbye!