The year has gone by too fast, don't you think? I have been living life on the fast lane, quite literally. There are things I wish I had documented here but I always ended up writing things halfway because these days, it's just getting harder to construct long sentences without my mind wandering to some other places. But today I'm trying to fight it all off, I really want to just write it all down and be done with it.
I won't be writing for a long time after this, I'm sure of it. I have a feeling I'll make a comeback - like I'd be going through my usual high-episodes and just riding that euphoric days by channeling all my non-stop train of thoughts into various kinds of outlet. So let me just take you back to the start.
This year has been filled with wonderful surprises and some petty heartbreaks. I call them petty because I got through it and moved on, and understood it was all in God's plan for things to happen the way they did. Alhamdulillah for that. Visited two countries I never thought of visiting just yet and had the time of my life with my better half. We learnt so much about each other, one of it being how much we just enjoyed being in each other's company. Alhamdulillah for the fact that it has always been like that and I pray that it will forever feel like that, inshaAllah.
I took on some great responsibilities that I never thought I would and if I were to do it all again, I wouldn't say I would but maybe I'll try to welcome it more openly, if that even makes sense. I have hesitated too many times too, this year, but alhamdulillah things turned out the way they should be.
The past 10 months have also taught me the true meaning of being steadfast in our deen. It's not an easy thing to do but I'm still making small steps. I feel like I've been doing everything all at once for the past months that I forgot to actually take a step back and reflect on the state of my heart and mind. It took me a month of too much human interaction to realize that I need to take a breather.
Some people always make a snarky remark about my on-and-off relationship with social media. How there'd be days where I'll go off the radar and just withdraw from my surroundings. The truth is, I needed it so badly. I honestly think everyone actually needs that time alone too. I usually took the time off to regain my focus on what really matters to me, to spend more time consciously with my Creator and to renew my intentions on why and how I do certain things. It has been awhile since I did that and I know for sure the time has come for me to go back to my own cocoon and do what's needed for my sanity.
The next few months are going to be special and of course, tough. But I really wanna declutter the space that I have in my already congested mind and heart to make way for new things, to make way for better thoughts and to make way for recharged sense of positivity. I can't wait to share everything with you (my non-existent loyal readers) soon but for now, let's just pray for each other's sanity and well-being and also, I'd like to wish everyone good things for the remaining of the year. May you get what you have been wishing for, may your heart be full and may you find what you have been looking for.
Till we meet again. Soon, inshaAllah.
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