When things don't feel the same anymore

Change is the only constant, they say. But they didn't say that these changes could be oblivious to the eyes, that these changes could somehow make it seems like the time travels way too fast. 

I made a point to just take a deep breath and look back on these said changes. I don't live here anymore, I told myself. I don't get to see these people as often as before anymore, I reminded myself. I don't feel sad leaving this place behind anymore. And these feelings are okay. These changes are okay.

I remember being that girl who didn't want to get out of my hometown. Told my parents I would never stray too far from home but I ended up making a rushed decision of moving across the sea. I told my parents I can never see myself working on this side of the world, and that I'll be coming home soon, I promise. But even home is very subjective to me nowadays. I no longer call that hometown my home anymore. I remember not being able to see myself living without some people, and I remember seeing some faces way too much than I'm supposed to. But I realized now that I've moved on from them, I went on with my life. 

Although most of my past decisions were highly driven by past heartbreaks, I believe God made it all happen that way for my own sake. How mentally, I'm more capable of accepting things not going to be the same all the time, and also accepting the fact that everything will change—it's just a matter of time. 

One of the reasons why these changes feel welcomed this time around is simply because I have been trying to master the art of detachment. It's working very well, although it took me awhile to realize that I've been doing okay detaching from things and people. 

It's funny how I don't know how to entertain homesickness anymore. I used to dwell so much on it to the point that if it were to struck me out of nowhere, I would just buy them tickets to go back. I don't feel I would allow myself be driven with such emotion ever again.

Here's to being okay with how things are, and being okay with how things were not as before.