How much is too much?

One thing I don't see myself possessing is patience. Internally, the battle with whatever that is challenging my level of patience can be daunting but it always happens on the inside, and never on the outside. I'm starting to believe it is the reason I get so emotionally tired at times.

I had this frustrating conversation with Sansan last night. It all started with him telling me I was being too nice. I hate it; I hate being told that I was too nice. So he rephrased his sentence, he said I was being too lenient. I hate the sound of that too but he came up with a set of points just to prove me of this said weakness of mine. I conceded at last but it made me even more tired afterward.

How much is too much?

The question has been lurking around my mind since morning. I have been asking a few of my close friends (whom I see almost everyday) if I had been too tolerant. Yes yes yes. Their answer echoes in my head even when I'm typing all this. Where do I put a stop to it? I don't know. I always look at things as my way to learn sabr. But if it has reached this point where I'm beginning to be stepped all over, do I let it be or do I endure with beautiful sabr?

Maybe there should be boundaries to certain things. It reminded me of the beauty of adab - putting something in its place. Which led me to think how fair I have been to people but how unfair I have been to myself. I have been so used to tolerating people that I don't feel like I value what's imporant to me anymore. It has clearly gone overboard, this leniency of mine. 

It made me reflect on my being and of course I didn't like what I just realized. I noticed I have been giving people too much excuses for their shitty behavior. I don't mean to sound like that but again, how much is too much?

Balance. I need balance.