Falling sick is inevitable. I do understand it's the ultimate truth but it took me a whole year of catching fever at unexpected times to teach me what it means to come to terms with such fact.
It is hard for me to admit this (not because I don't know my body that well or that I'm in denial, but simply because I feel like I can change it) my body is pathetic. I might not fall sick often times but my body gets injured pretty much every minute.
Stretched my hand too far wide? I'd strain my muscle. Ran too fast to catch something? Twisted my arm or leg or foot. Laughed too hard? Strained my neck. To make it simple, as long as the part is attached to my body; it will definitely put me in a painful state even just for a few seconds.
I am not here to complain but I am here to admit another truth that I am so ashamed of: I didn't really care about how well my body is being taken care of. I don't watch what I eat, I don't exercise anymore and I still had the nerves to blame my body when it fell sick or get easily injured/bruised.
I have told myself countless times that I would start being more conscious of my body just for the sake of a healthier life, I have told myself so many times that I would eventually start exercising. Today turns into tomorrow, tomorrow turns into next week and next week turns into the next lifetime. I never got around to actually doing it.
Until I realize something that put me back in my place.
My body is not mine. How can I forget that? It is just a vessel, lent to me by my Creator just so I am able to do things that I get to do on a daily basis now. Who am I to deny my body its right to be perfectly taken care of? I can only shake my head as it dawned on me.
I get very fussy when people couldn't properly take care of the things/clothes/books they borrowed from me; a slightly bent edge of my book would automatically put that person on my never-allowing-this-person-to-borrow-my-books-ever-again list, a little stain on my clothes caused by someone else would ruin my whole day (if not every time I look at the clothing piece for the next few days, weeks and months) - and yet I didn't even bother to take care of this temporary possession and also the only one thing that has been allowing me to do all the things I have been doing: this body.
At this point of time, I am even embarrassed to call it my own. I fell sick more often this year as compared to my previous adult years. I don't think it is a coincidence. I was once proud that I don't care about watching my weight, I don't care about not being cautious about what I consume on a daily basis but right now, that pride is nowhere to be found. I wish I had realized sooner, that's all.
It's going to be a new year in a few more days and I really just want to make it one of my new year's resolutions - to be thankful of what God has given me; in this case being my body and my health - and to realize that one particular resolution, I will and I must adapt a healthier lifestyle as I move forward.
May Allah ease. I will write more soon. Bye bye.
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