This year is going to be insanely challenging - I can already tell. But it's all for the good reasons too, inshaAllah. I have been trying to find the right time to write on the things that I have realized and then learnt to implement in my life throughout the ever so unpredictable year that was 2017. It is actually a super long list but I'm just going to share the few bits of which I hold dearly as my life principles and values.
2017 has been a rollercoaster ride but it is indeed a beautiful one. This is pretty big coming from me because I hate rollercoaster rides in the literal form so calling it a beautiful one must have said something, yes? Let's not waste anymore time, shall we? Here goes!
1) Put your heart in the right place
I cannot stress more on this. Things made more sense when you put your heart back to where it truly belongs; that is with Allah swt. I no longer let my worries and fears govern my state of mind and I don't let them decide for me how I should look ahead to my future. I believe Allah has a perfect plan for me and just by understanding this, I feel the contentment slowly residing in my heart. Allahu, the feeling is indescribably beautiful and I feel ashamed for not putting Him first all this while. It is so easy to say that you love Allah but to actually do it through our niyyah and actions, it brings such a big difference in my life. And just like that, detaching from my worldly desires is easier albeit I still struggle with it from time to time but alhamdulillah, I never feel so relieved. When you put Him first before anything else (yes, He should be the BAE of all baes) - all your other matters will run its course and that my friend, is how He takes care of our hearts.
2) Different people, different priority
To sum this one up, it's easier to say that life is no competition. I think some people failed to see it that way resulting in them having negative feelings such as jealousy, bitterness and anger towards other people. I have talked about this before, how I have made it my number one point; to never let jealousy be a part of my life. It's important to realize this because different people have different priority. That being said, just because I graduated at 21 years old, doesn't mean you're a failure if you graduated 10 years later despite being of the same age as mine. Just because someone your age is getting married this year doesn't mean you have to catch up too. I have a few girls (sad true story) who had issues with me, attacking me for certain reasons only to end up confiding in me that they are triggered by their jealousy of what I am and what I have - how I look, what I do for a living etc. I could only shake my head at such statements especially when it is a fact that everyone is made special and unique in their own way. You know what was sadder? One of the girls was younger by a few years from me and was barely halfway in her studies and yet she was already comparing her achievements with mine. That doesn't make sense now, does it? Remember, everyone goes through a different stage of life at a different age, with Allah's will. Do not let anyone else's success be the reason you look down on yourself - but do aspire to be just as good, or even better. Your life story is yours to create, why look into other people's book for that matter?
3) Dismiss the unimportant things
I struggled with this one. I find it hard to say no to things that I don't even care about and I find it hard to prioritize what's important (my needs & my family's needs) with what's not important (everything else that doesn't come in in that equation). What I also meant here is not putting too much thought on the unimportant things such as: what people think of you or say behind your back, what goes on in other people's lives that doesn't even have anything to do with you, small gossip talks, celebrity issues (oh Lord I don't even want to start on this but to each their own; I just have little patience for such a thing), and all the other things that doesn't help you grow as a person. Once you have learnt to filter the things you allow yourself to be associated with, your path ahead will be clearer to see. Know your purpose and inshaAllah, you're good to go.
4) Define your happiness, and stand by it
Happiness is such a subjective thing. Each and everyone of us has a different take on it and guess what? It's OK. Just as long as that happiness of yours doesn't harm you in any way. I used to just 'live and let live' in the literal sense without even putting much thought into it. It was also one of the reasons why my mental health deteriorates over time because I failed to define my own version of happiness. My kind of happiness is when I have my own private space, my kind of happiness is my minimalist take on life, my happiness is when no one else comes in between my conversations with Allah, my kind of happiness is when I don't worry about chasing worldly treasures, my kind of happiness is when I have my family, my husband and my close friends being understanding of what makes me happy and what doesn't and my kind of happiness is my peace of mind. I have learnt to no longer tolerate external factors to interfere with my kind of happiness and alhamdulillah, I am happy.
5) Always talk to God
And when I say that, I meant my God, your God or however you want to put it. Allah has helped me in literally everything I do. It is important to make it a habit to talk to Him not only during the five fardh prayers but at all times. I do this since forever but I wasn't really conscious about it till late 2016. You must bring Him everywhere with you, in your heart and in your mind. That's exactly how I always get what I want or what I intend for (with His' will, of course). To be honest with you, I even asked Him to help me get a parking spot every morning. If you know how Damansara Uptown is, you'd know the task is almost impossible but honestly... He never fails to provide. Is it weird that I'm tearing up over writing about a parking spot right now? Tsk. Talk to Him not only when you want things from Him but also when your heart is hurting, or even when your heart is bursting out of happiness. Talk to Him. Talk to Him when you can no longer find that sabr in you. Trust me, He listens. My conversations with Him sometimes include me laughing at myself as I think about what He had just showed me, or even of what He had just protected me from. You funny thing, You. He is the best Confidant, that I can definitely attest to.
6) Be thankful
Of everything. I mean it, of everything. I always tell myself, my family, and my friends to always be thankful of everything. Someone else always has it worse than us and I don't think we have the right to complain. When you still have parents to love, when you still have all your five senses to help you through the day, when you have a place to live and food to eat - say thanks to our Rabb. It's hard to be appreciative of the littlest things but the littlest things always takes up the most part in our hearts. Don't just be thankful to Him but also be thankful to everyone around us. Be thankful for when they are nice to you, be thankful when they are not. Be thankful that you are able to learn from everything and everyone that has come into your life. And most importantly, be thankful that we are granted a New Year, and a new day every morning - a chance for us to better ourselves again. Be thankful, okay?
Oh okay. I'm done.
I think that's it for now. I have so many things to write about but I feel like this should be it for now. I am so inspired to sharing more love and light come 2018 and inshaAllah I am on a good start. Putting love and light before my internal negativity has definitely given me a better view of life itself. I really pray that people would stop being judgmental of one another and let's just be good to each other from now on, okay? You are your words and actions and so don't let these two be the death of you.
On a lighter note, Happy New Year kesayangan! May God bless you in every way possible.
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