Finding home

It has been awhile since I last blogged through my phone, even more rare as I’m currently commuting back from the Twin Towers to one of the stations nearby my house. It was probably because I seldom get the chance to use the public transportation on a daily basis but also because I have forgotten to bring my book with me today so seriously I can’t really sit still in one place without doing anything at all. I really don’t get how some people can do that. 

I have told myself to not write in December anymore because honestly I feel like it’s useless to talk about nothing significant here but then I realized it’s my blog - it’s a place for me to channel out whatever that needs to be channeled out so here I am. 

The past week has been the most tiring one for me this month. Oh maybe for the past few months, if I were to really think about it. I had a non-stop schedule. I slept only four hours or less a day and I feel like my back bone has started to betray me in a way. 

It made me think of my home - my Miri home. Oh how I miss the peacefulness, the lack of traffic as compared to where I am now, the familiar faces that I don’t mind seeing everyday despite me not even wanting/needing to. I miss everything, like everything that I’m used to. It made me ask myself, what if I moved back?

The answer I told myself kind of surprised me, in a way. 

I don’t want to. Not yet, I tell myself. I can imagine going back to see my family; it is always the best part of coming home but this is my home now. Here, in the heart of Selangor. I cannot imagine leaving my current residency for more than a week. I remembered coming back from New Zealand and seeing my living room for the first time again made me thank God that I was finally home. 

I am home. It took me awhile to admit this, to realize that this is now my home. I am used to the crowd (although I would never imagine loving it genuinely) and I am used to the familiar and the strange faces that I see almost everyday here. To make this realization more official - I love it here. I love having a home with my husband here. I love being able to go to work here. I love it. 

It is such a big thing for me - this realization. Because I have lived in Kuala Lumpur and Selangor for almost 10 years now - the major part of my adult life. It is only now that I have finally stopped calling my hometown the only home I have. This is my home now. 

And I know it’s okay to have two homes in your life, as long as it makes you feel content, as long as it’s where you find your peace, as long as it’s a place where you can be the best you. And home is of course where your heart is - right now a part of it is with Sansan, a part of it is with family in Miri and a part of it is left in all the places and the people whom I have come to love. 

So cheers to finding home in everything that you love! I sure am loving every part of my home as of now. Alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli haal. ❤️