They come and go

Change is the only constant.

How many times do I have to remind myself about this? I honestly think that as we age, we tend to be more welcoming to changes - especially of those we don't see coming. But a few times in the recent past, I have found myself tripping over my own lack of preparation in dealing with unexpected change of plans.

Like a particular plan called forever where one of your oldest friends would never detach themselves from you, leaving only you to be in that equation. Sad and angry, those were my two initial reactions when I found out the value of my friendship was measured based on how many times I text/call ever since I live on the other side of the country rather than all those long years we've been friends.

I was bitter. I couldn't get over it. I felt like it was unfair to treat me that way. What did I do to deserve this? Don't I at least deserve an explanation? A part of my heart broke. It has been awhile, if I were to be honest - that I let my heart get broken like that. It has been years. The loss pained me so much that all I could feel was anger. 

But for what reason, really?

Things changed. People come and go. What more of an explanation do I need? I wouldn't say I didn't try. I am not afraid to say that I tried. But that's it. I did my part. I guess you can't really force a (friend)ship to stay on its course when it was really meant to sail away to a different direction. How do you withhold a friendship from going away when your way of life is the reason why this friendship wouldn't work out anymore in the first place? 

How do you even respond to that?

I couldn't. It broke my heart, especially when it came from someone I so dearly love. Someone whom I would never thought would put our differences in between us and use that as the reason to cut me off. I really couldn't understand but at the same time, I have stopped trying to figure it out because I can only fix so much. 

Friendship is like love. It is supposed to be easy. Not as easy as 1 2 3 or A B C but easy because both parties are in it to win it! I mean, both parties are willing to work it out. It is supposed to be that easy. If it requires hard work, I feel like the friendship is becoming like a courtesy call instead of what it really is. I don't know, everyone has a different definition of it, I guess and it is because of that fact alone that I have refused to continue figuring things out.

I'll let things be. I'll cherish the ones that I have for now. I'll treasure past memories and I won't regret nor dwell on broken friendships. And most importantly, I must move on. 

And move on, I will.