It is way past midnight and I should be sleeping. But since I have previously told myself that I shouldn't put aside the nagging feeling in my heart whenever it calls upon me to write, I'm just going give in to that for my own sake.
My long weekend has been an interesting one. Nothing extraordinary but it gave me such contentment that it made me not dread tomorrow - the incoming and infamous Monday blues. I feel at peace with my thoughts although I did have a hard time letting through an episode yesterday but as I said, alhamdulillah Allah made it easy for me - just as long as I put my trust in Him to put me to ease.
Let's not talk about the bad parts of the long weekend, shall we? On Thursday, I had dinner with the brunch squad; it is called a brunch squad for obvious reasons but we had decided to tweak it this time around since it's basically an off day for everyone on Friday. Despite just how much I don't enjoy crowds, I am still thankful that God put these people close to my heart (and my house, in a way) that I get to experience a glimpse of home just by seeing them. I need to learn to be more appreciative but I really do want to apologize for my shortcomings as I am only human. Still trying to learn to be a better friend, that's me. This is a personal battle that I shall keep to myself for now. Just so you know, this part is said in a monologue.
I spent my Friday mostly at home - the place that I love the most in this world - just reading and writing down my so-called new mantras in life. It's a brand new year, isn't it? It should also be marked as a brand new page for all of us in striving to be a better human being inshaAllah. I have set for myself brand new goals. I still owe this blogsphere the lessons I've learnt as I turn 27 but I have yet to find the right time to really do that so I shall do that soon, I promise. But oh these brand new goals, I'm pretty scared of telling myself to commit to it because God knows how bad I am at following schedules or even staying organized but let's just be positive for once, okay? That is exactly what I tell myself for the past three days, in hopes that it would stay in my head for the next few months.
My Saturday was spent with my sister; since we don't live in the same house anymore, we barely had the time to actually have our own bonding session but we did just that last Saturday and we caught up on a lot of things. I find myself being at ease knowing what's up on her side of the world although there are some decisions of hers that I don't quite agree. If you're reading this, don't read too much into it - you know I just love making things long just because. Lol.
Last Saturday was also probably one of the longest time I had spent outside without Sansan with my own consent; meaning - not because I'm off to work or other things that doesn't allow me to have him with me. That has also made me realize just how much I love having him around. Cue barfing sound - and I miss him way too easily nowadays. I also think it's due to the fact that he had started to have higher density of cute funny bones to him where he would start saying things that is extremely awww-ish to me but at the same time pretty annoying because you don't want him to know that you actually love those stuff he said, you know? I mean, between him and me, I'm sure that role belongs to me. I am the writer, remember? Just kidding. But I'm going to include some of the things he said in for the past 3 days that still made me smile to this day.
Conversation 1
S: But what if I got the job? And what if I have to start immediately?
Me: Well, I don't have to move---
S: Eh, that's not okay.
Me: I wasn't finished. I don't have to move first. I can go a few months later.
S: How can that be. You know I cannot live without you.
Me: Wah wah wah
Conversation 2
S: Okay can I play games tonight?
Me: Can, only if we reach home before 10.
S: Haaa. But there's a football match at 10.
Me: So you have to choose lah which one is more important. You know we can't have everything in life, kan?
S: That's not true. I have you. You are my everything.
Me: *laughs non stop till I forgot what we were actually negotiating about*
Conversation 3
Me: Can you taste the middle veggies and tell me sedap or not?
S: *tastes so passionately* aaa okay, sedap this.
Me: Sure? I will like it or not?
S: Yes I think you will like it.
Me: Hmm if you say like that I don't think I will like it. Dah lah we both have different taste.
S: Says who? I like you, you like me. Same taste, kan?
Me: -_______- wow sayang
And these kind of conversations keep on happening and I see that he's amused with himself for being able to stop me from reacting normally. Yes, I react rather ungratefully to all his lovely sayings but when it ends up on my blog like this, I know for sure these things are going to reside in my heart and mind forever. I know I'm a sarcastic partner and (insert whatever other adjectives you feel is right for me) but I gotta be honest, this fellow has loved me good and to Him I shall be thankful.
Moving on. Earlier today I spent the major part of my morning watching tv with my sister and my brother and in the late afternoon, we had a stroll in the park along with Sansan and I actually enjoyed every part of it despite the park having so many pet dogs. I think the brunch squad should consider doing a picnic soon, okay guys? Good, count me in.
I have also finished re-reading The Little Prince and the book solidifies my reasons to welcome the brand new year with a clear heart and a clear mind. Have you read the book? It's really good. I love all the lessons embedded in it. I read it once when I was in my teens and I had a different view and reaction towards it back then but now that I have read it at this age, I just realized how even more beautiful the book really is.
How important it is to keep your inner child safe and alive, money is not everything, different people have different priorities and most importantly, how your heart can let you see things that truly matters to you. Oh my, the list is endless. I suggest you pick up the book and just finish it in one seating - it will give you this warm fuzzy feelings and you will feel okay. More than okay, even.
Yikes, seems like I've taken too much time writing now. This is something I'm still trying to fix though; my sleeping cycle. I can never sleep early, I swear. When I sleep early, I will wake up late. When I sleep late, I will wake up early. It's cool, really but it doesn't mean I won't feel sleepy for the latter part. Guess what, I'm not even sleepy right now but it's already almost 130am! Alright now, gotta go. I'll write more soon, inshaAllah.
On a related note, happiest Awal Muharram to everyone. Let's welcome the new year with love, gratitude, modesty and lots of prayers in between.
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